The F Word ~ Feelings, flow, freedom!

 

The F Word ~ Feelings, flow, freedom!

 

Aloha everyone! How are we FEELING this week? What I’ve been working on for a few weeks now are feelings and well…feeling them. Letting myself be vulnerable and open. Leaning into them, instead of away from them.  

 

There’s a scene in Top Gun, where Maverick is going to get closer to another plane. His REO says, “You’re going to do WHAT!”
 

“I’m going to bring them in a little closer. I’ll hit the brakes and they’ll fly right by.”  

 

His REO just about has a breakdown. But Maverick does just that, pulls off the maneuver and get them away from danger.  

 

 

By ‘leaning into’ the situation, he got out of it faster and in better shape, than if he’d kept trying to dodge and weave the other fighter jet, intent on gunning him down.

So, it is with our feelings and flow.  

 

Martha Beck, talks about this condensing of emotions in regards to grief. She noticed at someone’s funeral that a Down Syndrome boy she was looking after would break down into intense grief every so often. She observed he only managed to “sustain” this level for about a minute and a half. Then he was done and settled down again. 

 

This is the same phenomena when something’s causing panic or worry. By ‘leaning into’ it, you move through it faster and smoother. 

 

 

 

Think about a motorcycle racer. Have you seen how low those guys go on their bikes into the corners? My God! But if they don’t, they risk doing themselves a terrible injury. If they hesitate or try to sit up too soon, they’ll unbalance the bike and come a real cropper. By leaning into the corner, they actually keep themselves and bike in balance, while keeping their speed up.

It’s the same for us with any emotions we’re “trying NOT to feel.” We’re actually pulling ourselves off balance.

When I used to live in Singapore, I was friends with an American guy who rode a Triumph motorcycle. He loved riding with me, because I was used to motorcycles, my dad had several. And most of the young guys in New Zealand had owned one at some point. Cheap transportation. So I knew to lean into the corners with him as a pillion passenger and we’d be safe. The young Asian girls he took on the back often didn’t know this. They’d try to sit rigidly upright, nearly causing him and the bike to go out of control.

 

 

And so it is with something that’s frightening us or niggling away.

Let’s say, you’re worried about where the money will come for something. It’s a big concern and you’ve been “trying” to “just stay positive.” But sometimes the fear just grips you in its vice like talons anyway. Lean into it.

Allow yourself to just “go there.” Imagine the worst, feel the whole range of fear, bawl your eyes out, scream and rant, let the fear seep in, the panic, the worry.

What you’ll find it that rather than getting stuck in it, a curious thing happens.

And I only know this, because I’ve been in situations where things looked grim and this was the one thing that brought things into balance again.

You think you’ll keep going down, but some internal survival mechanism clicks in. For about a minute and a half or even a few minutes, we’ll feel ghastly. Then slowly, but surely, once the built up feelings have been purged, we get the turnaround in our feelings.

What I found interesting, having done this a few times—and it’s never easy, is that you naturally want to resist it, like leaning right into a corner on a bike. It feels slightly unnatural and like you’ll can off, tearing yourself to shreds and decapitating yourself.

But you actually go through the feelings faster and you’re much more in balance. Slowly the fear bleeds off. You get moments of feeling it will okay, it’s going to be alright, something will turn up, things are going to work out. You can feel it internally in your body, as it relaxes, and the fears recede. You’ve actually pulled yourself back into alignment by feeling all the ghastly, icky, horrible, terrifying feelings.

 

 

It’s not nice to do. I agree.

However, it’s a wee bit like getting a splinter in your skin. You have a choice. You can leave it in there and every time you bump it or move the wrong way, it stings and hurts. Or you can get a needle and tweezers and dig it out. Yes, that’s painful too, but you only get a few minutes of pain, compared to hours of it, if you leave the splinter in there.

This is one of the fastest ways to move through something that’s frightening you and back into a balanced space. It will make your projected energy out into the world more positive. You’ve actually then got more chance of attracting in what you want.

It keeps us in our flow and on track.

The other thing I’ve been trying to do is gauge my feelings, and then go with them. Rather than fighting them.

I’m busy working on several books at the moment, blogs, websites, fb, Twitter, emails, arghhhh… so my ‘to do’ list, is usually overly long and slightly crazy.

I kept getting overloaded with it and didn’t seem to be getting as much done as I needed. I’d often start my night with my list and inwardly groan. There were usually things on there I wanted to do and things that produced an ‘ugh’ feeling.

Generally what I’d been doing was attacking the things I ‘thought’ needed doing first. Then I’d get to the ‘fun’ stuff I felt good about. I always got to the end of the night with only half of it done.

Then a couple of days, I said, stuff it, I’m going to go with what I feel like doing now and bugger the rest. I’d probe out in my feelings to see what felt good to do and I’d just ignore the other stuff my head said needed to be done, now, Now, NOW!

I actually got more done.

Even the ‘sloggy’ stuff I got through faster. By doing the stuff that made me feel better first, or what I got a feeling for, I seemed to end up with more time and energy. And this is always the way. It’s again, that ‘leaning into’ the feeling of something. And going with that, you move through it faster and come out cleaner in your energy. All sorts of things start flowing.

I’ve been writing a new Christmas story that goes with my Troika Love Series trilogy, coming out next year. Two of the main characters are Romani or Russian gypsies—Ruska Roma. I’d put a lot of things in my story, writing from pure instinct and what felt right. I hadn’t done a lot of research on them, just general things. I’ve always been deeply fascinated by Roma and felt a connection to them, but still hadn’t read a great deal on them.

 

 

Last night, despite other things on my pile, I had a feeling I really wanted to do the research for Soul Songs and see what I could dig up. I just ‘happened’ to find this amazing website on the Roma with a terrific amount of info. As I read through it, I was constantly astounded at the information in there that matched with my story, I’d already written. I wrote in one part that Alex sees the same look in Nikita’s eyes, as if someone was hurting an animal. Nikita is a Roma who works with horses. Last night, I read that this is actually a definite thing in the Roma culture. Never hurt an animal. Roma’s view this as almost culturally offensive.

Nikita makes Alex a fine silver bracelet. I also read that the Roma are particularly skilled in the metalwork and jewelry trade. I didn’t know this.

The list goes on.

 

 

And this is what happens for us in all sorts of circumstances and things when we connect with our own feelings and move back into our flow. All sorts of things start turning up for us, without a lot of effort and elbow grease. Things start plopping into our laps. Thank you, Universe!